Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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