im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
