so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
