this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
