chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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