I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
