How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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