apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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