i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
