I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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