Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
