This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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