how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
