and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
