Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
