i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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