I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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