its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
