we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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