sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
God, I missed his penis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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