We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Randomize