Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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