you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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