I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
