FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
They have beer where we have blood.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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