He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
