You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
