I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
