Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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