so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
His nipple licking is glorious
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