You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize