the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
