Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
