you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just found a bag of teeth...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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