Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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