Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
