dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
