So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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