Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, beer. Big fan.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
