why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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