So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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