Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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