I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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