Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
