This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
