I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
