Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Reggie can tackle my bush.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
