So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
