So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
