You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sext me about skeletons
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
