I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Randomize
