Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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