I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
