Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sponge bath it is.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
