But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize