Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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