I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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