I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize