i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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