idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize