Your tits are I can't wait for
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
