I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
